These past couple of weeks have been out of control. I should be lining everything up for the rest of the semester and the rest of my life for that matter. Looking for a job *should* be my number one priority... Instead I find myself: antiquing, watching Downton Abbey, cleaning my apartment, playing with cats, taking on more shifts at work. Essentially, I will do anything other than what I should be doing.
I honestly think that one of my motives for behaving this way is that this semester is my "last hurrah." After this, (granted I graduate...) there will be no more school. I will go from living the dream to making it in the real world. I most likely won't have a schedule that allows me to take two hour naps on Wednesday afternoons and then do all my laundry on Friday mornings. I will be a participant in the rat race. Watching the clock until it strikes 5. The anticipation (or fear) of this new lifestyle has got me reeling. I am taking full advantage while I can.
This same phenomenon occurred just two years ago when I graduated college. My whole last semester was spent putting off doing things for grad school and just reveling in the last days college life. I feel like at that point in my life this was more appropriate behavior. Now, I just find myself feeling like a loser. Even though I am deeply afraid of the future and working at a *real* job, I want that life. I want it very badly.
I guess I should use this as my motivation for the job search...
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